Saturday, December 21, 2013

Holiday Disasters Make Holiday Laughter!




Thanksgiving started gently this year.  Usually it is hectic and crazy, but...I planned ahead. I baked early since I knew the turkey would take my oven space. Yet, sometimes when everything is going well something has to go and ruin it. That is exactly what happened! Do not misunderstand me, my turkey was done and it was delicious--but getting it onto the platter this year turned out to be the funniest thing I have ever experienced.

I will remember it for years. It was almost time for dinner. I removed my beautiful turkey from the oven. It was perfectly brown. In fact it looked like a magazine cover picture.  The problems began when I tried to move it onto the platter.

The turkey was well cooked--so cooked that when I went to lift it from the pan, one of the turkey legs fell off.  Well I'll be honest, the turkey leg bone fell off in my hand and the meat fell into the bottom of the pan. Who knew that I was an inventor? I invented a self-deboning turkey! I decided to use a long fork stuck into the bird to try and move it, but I could feel the meat beginning to fall off the bones. I stopped and got a giant plastic spoon and wide spatula thinking I could lift it out. However, when I went to lift the turkey this time my spoon broke and the wing fell off. That's when I and my family laughed so hard it hurt. Three wide spatulas later and a few more deboned pieces of turkey we had it placed on two trays. My husband said it was the easiest turkey he ever carved.

You can also enjoy a relaxing laughter filled holiday without an interesting experience with your turkey.  Here are a few unusual holiday stories that will keep you laughing this holiday!

Cats' Letters to Santa by Bill Adler

The Shepherd, The Angel and Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog by Dave Barry

I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas By Lewis Black

You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas By Augusten Burroughs

Skipping Christmas by John Grisham

Christmas Curiosities by John Grossman

Scared of Santa By Denise Joyce 

A Christmas Blizzard by Garrison Keillor

An Idiot's Girl's Guide to Christmas by Laurie Notaro

Christmas Letters From Hell by Michael Lent

The Onion Presents: Christmas Exposed by The Onion

Merry Christmas from-- 150 Christmas Cards You Wished You Received
by Karen Robert

Santa Responds: He's Had Enough by Santa Claus

I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence by Amy Sedaris

Holidays On Ice by David Sedaris

The Twelve Terrors of Christmas by John Updike

Sketchy Santas: A Lighter Look at the Darker Side of St. Nick by Will Zweigart












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