Put a Stake in it, Already*

Imagine the scene: Mild-mannered book lovers stand in the stacks wondering what to read next. Suddenly from behind every corner jumps a vampire crouched to attack the plots of every genre, sucking out the originality, intrigue, and, when they're very skilled (dare I say it?) writing talent from before our very eyes. Quick! Call Buffy, text Van Helsing, bring on Blade, or Anita Blake, or Jacob and his wolfish clan, but whatever you do, please, please, please: someone needs to stop the vampire takeover!

Not being much of a horror fan (I blame reading Roald Dahl's The Witches as a kid --I was terrified for weeks), I've never had much exposure to vampires. My first intro to the bloodsuckers was because I'm a sucker for humor and I'd heard good things about Christopher Moore's You Suck which was pretty funny. I wouldn't say I instantly became a convert to all things vampiric, but I enjoyed it. A year or two later, all the buzz raised my curiosity and I read the Twilight series and, no, it wasn't really my cup of tea but it seemed, much like the "vegetarian"vampires on its pages, to be relatively harmless. People were lining up in masses to read the tale of Bella, and hey...if it's something that people like to read, it's all to the good....right?

But now, everywhere I look, vampires have taken over. Every genre now seems to have an entire subgenre of vampire-driven stories. As I was looking at a book website the other evening, I noticed a forthcoming book called Wuthering Bites, part of the smash-up lit genre that's emerged (e.g., Pride and Prejudice and Zombies) where Wuthering Heights meets... of course...vampires. I'm not even reading these books and I'm tired of them. I have vampire fatigue by proxy.

If you, too, are a bit tired of the vampiric takeover of all things fiction, but still want a good read for the Halloween season, I highly recommend Audrey Niffenegger's new release, Her Fearful Symmetry, a creepy good ghost story that will haunt me for while. Other books safe for a vampire-free Halloween diet include Ghost Music and Neverwhere, or just about anything by Stephen King.

*Thanks to Scott, also sick of the vampire takeover, who graciously suggested the title of this blog post.