Marriage Secrets Lead to a Happy Marriage?

In a world filled with a love ‘em and leave ‘em mentality a new book has emerged. It is entitled, The Secret Lives of Wives. I read the book and knew I’d write about it, but I’m still trying to figure out if I liked it. Iris Krasnow has written several books on the subject of marriage. Her first book, Surrendering to Motherhood was a NY Times bestseller. Her latest book is in essence a marriage manual. Some, who are against marriage, may call it an expose’ on marriage.

Krasnow interviewed 200 women who have been married anywhere from 15-70 years. This is truly remarkable considering the divorce rate for first time marriages in America is 41% and climbing every year.  Oh, what a sad story. Krasnow speaks with many women to discern how they managed to beat the marriage odds. What did they do differently to have their marriages last decades? You will have to decide for yourself if what they did is worth the long lasting marriage.

This is a tell-all book and it includes a few interesting secrets to a happy marriage. Some of the secrets may astound you. Some of the veteran married women advise making out with your old boyfriend. One meets privately with her college boyfriend and has for years and another has a long standing affair with her gardener. Another takes a separate vacation. She leaves her spouse at home and goes on her own vacation.  He usually takes a vacation too, they just go to separate destinations.

Krasnow writes that, "To expect one person, man or woman, to make you happy for the rest of your life is a ticket to divorce." Look for excitement and fulfillment outside your marriage. Make yourself happy and your marriage will be happy too!  I do not buy into the idea of cheating on your spouse as helping you maintain a happy marriage, but I can see how taking a class or finding a hobby you enjoy would make a positive impact on your life.

IF you are looking for a quick read that presents unique options on what it means to be married this may be the book for you. IF you have a more traditional view of marriage this book may offend you.  Krasnow does not condone the choices of the women interviewed, but presents their options for a happy marriage and leads the reader to investigate their own morals and own inspiration for happiness. She presents ancedotes from her own life along with those from the women she interviewed. The stories flow together seamlessly and will lead you to think  for yourself about what will make your marriage happier.

World Cup Caliber Authors from the United States

This week we are celebrating the runners-up of the Women's World Cup by highlighting writers from the United States.  Since there is not enough time or space to cover all of the states, we are choosing the states from where most of the ladies on the team hail:  New Jersey and California.

From suspense and thriller novelists Mary Higgins Clark and Harlan Coben to award-winning children's author Sharon Creech, New Jersey is birthplace and home to many talented writers.

Edna Buchanan--this Paterson, NJ, mystery author and journalist won the 1986 Pulitzer Prize for reporting.

Janet Evanovich--this NY Times best-selling author is most well known for her wacky Stephanie Plum mysteries set in Trenton.

Laura Anne Gilman--this New Jersey born science fiction, supernatural romance, and fantasy novelist was nominated for 2009 Nebula Award.

Belva Plain--this novelist lived in Millburn and died in 2010 at the age of 95. At the time of her death there were over 30 million copies of her books in print.

Philip Roth--this Newark literary novelist has won two National Book Awards, three Pen/Faulkner Awards, and the Pulitzer Prize.

California is full of great writers including science fiction and fantasy greats Kage Baker and Greg Bear and 2-time Nebula Award winner Catherine Asaro. Try one of these other gifted authors from the Golden State.

Nevada Barr--this writer grew up in Johnstonville and writes mysteries starring Anna Pigeon, a female law enforcement ranger for the National Park Service.

James Ellroy--this Los Angeles native wrote gritty crime novels including L. A. Confidential and The Black Dahlia.

Shirley Jackson--this queen of psychological horror was a San Francisco native and wrote the short story "The Lottery" and the novel The Haunting of Hill House.

Maxine Hong Kingston--this Chinese-American writer and professor from Stockton won the National Book Award in 1981 for China Men.

John Steinbeck--born in Salinas, this author penned the Pulitzer Prize winning The Grapes of Wrath, the often filmed East of Eden, the tragic novella Of Mice and Men, and many other classics.  He was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1962.

Don't believe the hype -- discover the magic for yourself

When the reviews for a particular book read as though they're trying to top each other in their hyperbole, each struggling to be the most glowing, the most effusive in its praise of a book, I get suspicious.  Yes, I love finding a well-reviewed book just as much as the next person; it's nice to know going in that others have found it worth the time.  Still, a little too much praise and I start to get a little suspicious that's it a case of the Emperor's New Clothes, where everyone is just afraid to admit they didn't like it as much as the last person so they have to like it even more.  I've been burned before (I still won't cop to some of the best-reviewed books that I absolutely couldn't stand...unless you ask, in which case I'll share)...and I am, apparently, far more conspiracy-minded when it comes to book reviews than I had realized. 

Still, despite my trepidation based on the incredible reviews, the public clamor, and the fact that the book was optioned for a movie before it was even released, I was pleasantly surprised by The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern.  In addition to providing yet another title to my growing list of reasons to think that that sometimes the best books are, in fact, by first-time authors, The Night Circus also managed to prove that, sometimes, you can actually beat the expectations game.

The world of The Night Circus and its cast of characters were far more unique than you might suspect from the many comparisons to Harry Potter and Twilight that have been made.  And, if I can digress for a moment, I would like to implore book reviewers to stop comparing every book with some element of fantasy to Harry Potter and Twilight  They were blockbusters in their own rights without question, but not every book that involves a bit of magic should be compared to them.  If you want the Hollywood pitch of this-meets-that, I'd argue that you should think Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell meets Something Wicked This Way Comes.  Comparisons aside, Morgenstern has crafted a world of dreamy wonderment with the Cirque des Reves.  Her writing was so evocative that I could swear I tasted the caramel corn and heard the music.  I was immersed completely in the world she created and I want to go back.  If only I can get the reveurs to tell me where it will be next...

Darkness, My Old Friend

I recently finished Lisa Unger's latest title, Darkness, My Old Friend.  I first found out about Unger through last year's Fragile, which I wrote reviewed in a blog post.  To say I couldn't wait for this latest offering is a bit of an understatement.

This story returns to the sleepy little town simply called The Hollows.  Jones, the police officer from Fragile, returns along with his wife Maggie, though Jones plays a more prominent role than Maggie in this story.  The story begins with Willow Graves, who has moved to the Hollows with mother, skipping school one day and wandering through the woods behind Hollows High School.  What she sees there sets off a chain reaction that affects several people, including Jones, throughout this small town.  Jones must figure out how Michael Holt fits in to what Willow sees.  Holt has returned to the Hollows to solve the mystery of his mother who disappeared from town when he was young.  And what about Paula Carr, who wishes to take her children and leave the abusive relationship with her husband?   

The intriguing character of Eloise, the local psychic who often helps the police, returns for the second Hollows offering.  She sees a vision and warns the ever skeptical Jones that he may be in trouble.  But he may need to seek her assistance more than he wishes.  Unger has a teriffic way of tying together all of the seemingly independent stories in Darkness, My Old Friend.  I was impressed yet again with her storytelling and will look forward to her next book.

The Best Staged Plans

There comes a point in everyone’s life where you take stock of where you are. I think somewhere there is a checklist that includes: marriage, children, home, career and at the end of the list happiness. Every now and then I look at the list and say yes I’ve got that I’m doing well. Silly but true, I love to have my to do list filled out and checked off. Sandra Sullivan, in the book Best Staged Plans by Claire Cook, has her own to-do list. She sets goals and gets them done. She has a great job, great husband, 2 kids and a beautiful home. She has decided it’s time to move on with her life (and her husband’s). Her kids are grown and the house is tying her and her husband down. So naturally they have to sell it. The house is an old historic home that needs some work. Yet although her family has agreed to cooperate and get the house ready to sell, they always find something else to do when it comes time to work. Thwarted by her retired husband and bat cave son she takes a job in Atlanta. Her life as she sees it is a mess and so she has to cut her losses. It isn’t until she sees a homeless woman near where she works that she realizes what she has. She looks at her life through different eyes and sees how wonderful it is. She has a home, a great husband and loving children. So what if the house doesn't sell, is it the end of the world?  Is this enough to throw away all the good things?  Is telling her family how much she loves them enough?  Is it too late to get back what she gave up?

This is a wonderfully witty story about growing older, facing life’s changes and learning happiness is all around you. If you enjoy reading chick lit, you have got to read this story. The story flows smoothly and will make you laugh out loud.  Claire Cook takes chick lit to a new level. She does not just give us a feel good story, but gives us life lessons along the way.  This is a truly delightful and enchanting story. 

In the Queue

The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman

Based on the tragic historical event of the battle of Masada in 70 A.D., this story of four women who were at Masada and how their lives intersected in the days before and during the Roman siege.

Nanjing Requiem by Ha Jin

As the Japanese prepare to invade Nanjing in 1937, Minnie Vautrin, an American missionary and dean of Jinling Women's College, decides not to flee.  She believes her American citizenship will protect her, the school, and those who work there.  When it doesn't, she is haunted by those she was unable to save.

Sweet Judy Blue Eyes: My Life in Music by Judy Collins

Songs like Both Sides Now, made Judy Collins an icon and her music defined the 60s generation.  Readers are offered a deeply personal, honest, and revealing memoir of the folk legend.

Breadcrumbs

A couple things. First, I realize that this blog is geared toward adult fiction (and nonfiction), with a smattering of young adult titles thrown in for good measure, but today I’m going to write about a children’s book I read recently. The reason? Well, that brings me to item no. 2. I can generally tell whether or not I’m going to be swept away (enchanted, bewitched…you can choose your own word if you like) by a book from the first chapter—the writing, the story, the characters, and the opening scene all deliciously measured and stirred together by an author who really knows how to cook. And if the resulting aroma is pure magic, I know I’ve found a keeper. That book is Breadcrumbs, and that author is Anne Ursu. Now, the narrative of Breadcrumbs is a simple one; in fact, it’s a retelling of a classic fairy tale you may already know—The Snow Queen by Hans Christian Andersen—placed in a modern setting. In Breadcrumbs, Hazel Anderson loses her best friend, Jack, to a mysterious woman in white who spirits the boy away into the woods with her, and Hazel sets out to reclaim her friend. The bond of friendship between the two is so strong that Hazel will move heaven and earth to bring him back. But wait: is young Hazel some supergirl with special powers? No. There’s only one power truly at work in this story: love. It’s love that compels this brave little girl to enter the great unknown in search of her friend because her heart tells her that he is in trouble, even if he doesn’t realize it. My take: I fell in love with this book! if Breadcrumbs doesn’t exhibit one of the most moving examples of love and friendship in children’s literature, in literature period, I don’t know what does. But don’t be put off by the fact that it’s a children’s book; there’s an emotional depth within its pages that you would be hard pressed to find in books written for adults. And the writing? Poetic in its simplicity and stunningly beautiful. If you’ve ever had a friend, lost a friend, and felt lost because of it, then this is a book you should read. Well done, Anne Ursu!    

A book I won't read in bed

Once again, I'm feeling a bit in awe of a first-time novelist.  I've read so many good first-time books in the past few years that I'm beginning to think that I could be perfectly content reading only debut novels. David Whitehouse's debut novel Bed is the latest to join the list.

The story itself is interesting, if a little odd.  Really, though, it's the characters who drive this book.  It's narrated by the unnamed younger brother of Malcolm "Mal" Ede, a man who takes to his bed on his 25th birthday never to get up again.  As Mal's weight increases (by the time we meet him 27 years later, he's well over 1,000 pounds), so does the emotional weight constricting his family.  In a series of flashbacks, Whitehouse takes the reader through the family dynamic that always held a portent of an unhappy future.  Their mother clearly favored Mal over his brother and indulged Mal's every whim, even as he displayed anti-social tendencies that suggested a troubled inner life.  Their father, overwrought by guilt from a mining accident in an elevator he designed, was reclusive and spent his time in the attic.  Meanwhile, the narrator seems aware of his limited life lived in the shadow of his brother but, in resignation to this fate, acts only in reaction to others.  The characters and their actions (or lack thereof) were often frustrating, but consistent in their helplessness. 

Whitehouse's simple style should not be dismissed as simplistic.  He was able to effectively transmit a great deal of information about thoughts, motivations, and relationship dynamics in sparse descriptions.  One such time was a simple reflection back on a boyhood campout in the backyard that conveyed much more about the family: "We played travel versions of popular games.  We didn't have the full versions.  We never really traveled." 

It would be easy to focus on the sensationalistic literal weight that pins down Malcolm to his bed, but Whitehouse was deft at using it instead as a manifestion of the many other, metaphorical, weights that held them down.  Ultimately, Mal's revelation of why he took to bed serves to tie the physical and the metaphorical together. The book moves quickly, and it served as an inspiration to get up and do something.  While I'll definitely be watching for more from Whitehouse, I don't imagine reading his books in bed.   

Not all angels are Divine

The weather is cooler. The nights grow darker and it's time for tales of suspense and thrills. The kind of story that makes you want to cover your head and hope that you are no longer home alone. Let's be honest October is the time for all things spooky and suspenseful. So naturally I found three novels that fit perfectly into the suspenseful, thriller, murder mystery whodunit category. Don't read them too late at night or you may not sleep very well. Not all angels are divine and the story of the black angel is revealed during an exciting new novel by Julie Kramer.

Killing Kate by Julie Kramer is a thriller. This is the 4th in a series, but it can stand alone. The plot twists and turns and when you suspect you have it, you don't. The novel begins with Kate's death. Riley, a newspaper reporter, speaks with her former friend. She just happens to be Kate's sister. While speaking to her friend in Kate's home, Riley notices a chalk outline on the ground and assumes the police placed it there around the fallen Kate. She can't figure out why they made Kate's arms look misshapen. It appears almost as if she had wings. Riley is tenacious and wants to solve this crime. She is sure there is more to the story, but between her boss and her boyfriend, can she find the truth? The story is told from Riley and the killer's point of view. As Riley fits the pieces together you wonder will the killer let her live or will the angel of death take Riley to her final resting place?

 Before I Go to Sleep by Steven J. Watson is truly a chilling story.  It's the story of Christine, a young woman, who has an accident and recovers. The tragedy is that although she has physically recovered, her memory is impaired. Once she goes to sleep she forgets who she is and everything about her life. Each day begins anew with untold challenges. Her doctor has her keep a journal privately and tells her not to let her husband, Ben know. Who can she trust? Is her doctor her friend? Why doesn't he want her to trust her husband? Christine wants her life back, but what kind of life did she have and can she have it if she remembers nothing about her former life? A story of terror unfolds and keeps you hanging on til its gripping conclusion. When you are sure you have figured out what is happening the author twists the plot again and takes you for another spine tingling ride. 


The Accident by Linwood Barclay fits perfectly in our recession centered world. Everyone is hard hit financially in this novel. Glen's business is failing.  He is a builder and one of his homes had a fire that destroyed everything and worse yet his wife just died in a car accident that she may have caused.  The police believe Sheila (Glen's wife) was driving drunk.  Can things get worse? Why of course they can.  His daughter is having trouble in school, his mother-in-law blames Glen for Sheila's death and things in Milford keep getting more bizarre.  Strange deaths are occurring and  it all seems to lead back to Sheila.  Can Glen prove her innocence or was Sheila living a double life.  This is an exciting fast paced whodunit that will keep you riveted to your seat.  Just when the mystery appears solved, is it? If you enjoy mysteries and thrillers this is a must read.